The Haven

The Haven is a centre for growth on Gabriola Island, British Columbia, Canada. Founded in 1983 by Bennet Wong and Jock McKeen, The Haven offers a wide range of programs designed to help people live their lives more fully and with deeper awareness of both themselves and others.

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Reflections 2011 Photo Gallery

We’ve uploaded a great set of photos from Reflections.

We wish you all the best for 2012!

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Jennifer Sass

Thank you to everybody who posted on the Shen blog page Celebrating Jennifer Sass.

And thank you to everyone who attended the beautiful memorial for Jennifer during Reflections.

We are now closing the page on this website.

You can download a printed version of the blog here.

Jennifer Sass (72)
Jennifer

Jennifer Sass

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My Experience in Living Alive Phase II

By Libo Ma. Libo travelled from China to take part in this year’s Living Alive Phase II.

生命的回归

—记加拿大Haven学院阶段二学习归来

Libo Ma at The Haven

It has been more than one month since I finished 26-day Phase II program in Canada. Every time I recall the memory, it is so vivid and just like it happened yesterday. Till now, I can still feel the influence and energy from it even in the totally different “really life”. The program is very powerful!

完成加拿大26天的阶段二学习已经一月有余,至今回想起那段日子的点点滴滴,还是如此的生动,仿佛就在眼前。当然,它对我生命能量的震动也是巨大的,即便我现在已经身处了完全不同的环境,在每天工作吃饭睡觉的真实生活中,我仍然能够感觉到它的无处不在。它带给了我充满力量的生命回归!

So many people asked me what I learned in so long time program. If there are several most difficult things for me, to answer it must be the one. Yes, it is very hard to explain what happened inside and outside. I experienced the living alive: fresh air, fresh water, fresh food, fresh body, fresh feeling and fresh heart. Since that I realize that I could be fresh and different in every moment, and also be curious about what will happen in next moment. Now, I can bravely tell the people that I am unique in the universe. It is not easy for me, because it sounds like that I speak up “I am important” in front of people and I will feel nervous.

好多人都问过我:那么长的时间到底学了些什么?参加过Haven学习的朋友可能很有的体会,说清楚这事儿其实挺难的,特别是内在和外在都发生了变化的时候。我经历了更有生命力的“活着”的状态: 清新的空气,纯净的水,新鲜的食物,更重要的是焕然一新的身体,丰富的感受和开放的一颗心。后来我意识到,在每一个当下自己都可以是新鲜而不同的,也让自己保持一份的好奇去看一看下一时刻到底会发生些什么。 现在我可以勇敢的说:我是宇宙间与众不同的。这对我来说可是不容易,因为听起来像是在宣称“我是很重要的!”,之前我会因此而非常紧张。

There are so many juicy experiences in 26 days,  we shared the feeling and clarification with each other; we explored the body to be more sensitive; we showed our vulnerability to be more intimate; we tried the new experience and bring ourselves forward; we supported each other with love to dive into the adventure. One word to describe this journey for me: it is the precious treasure to lighten and coach me to explore and grow in the spiritual way till to the end of my life. The light will never be turned off, as it always in my heart; the light will never be controlled by outside, as I guide by myself. I found the peacefulness in my mind: no matter how the world changes frequently, I can have a place to center and settle myself.

26天的生活充满了养分,我们分享感受并彼此核对澄清;我们探索身体并变得更加敏感;我们呈现脆弱并变得更加亲密;我们尝试新鲜并体验挺身向前;我们用爱彼此支持投入心灵的冒险。如果用一句话来形容这段旅程就是:它为我照亮了以及教会了我如何在心灵道路上用一生的时间不断探索和成长,它是我一生的宝藏。我深深的知道,这盏灯不会熄灭,因为它会一直在我心里;我也知道这盏灯不会受外界的操控,因为是我在指引我自己。我找到了心中的笃定:无论外在如何的纷繁复杂、转瞬即逝,我都可以在心中找到一个位置来回归平和。

I should tell you a true story. I tried so long time to look for the direction and destination. I tried so hard to know myself and break through.  I really want to fly freely like others and realize my dream. But I know I can’t because I don’t have wings. I feel unfair, self-critic, depressed and unconfident. I still hope I can grow my wings, so I keep asking the sage, studying in the workshops, learning the life style from successful people, and bring more self-critic power to encourage and hurt myself. Until one day my teacher told me I had strong wings and I just couldn’t see them. The only way to “see” the wings is just to fly. I climbed up a mountain that I had never been; I experienced the uncertainty, fear, doubt, struggle, out-of- patience and pain. I suspected from the bottom of my heart whether I was able to fly. On the top of mountain, with the love and support I just jumped myself into the cliff. After a while I felt the breeze blowing my face, I felt I am flying. With the excitement, I opened my eyes and saw the wonderful scene I had never seen before.  Yes, this is my experience in Phase II, and I am still alive and more alive now.

我想分享一个真实的故事:我花费了很长的时间去努力寻找生命的方向和终点,同时也非常努力的去了解自己突破自己。我真的渴望自己能够翱翔天空、实现梦想。但是我发现自己其实没有翅膀(惊愕ing~~)。我感到不公平,抑郁,丧失自信并开始批判自己。我仍寄希望于能够长出翅膀,所以我不停的努力的去请教大师,参加心理工作坊,学习成功人士的生活经验,然后以更大的自我批判来提醒和激励自己“不能放松,继续努力”,同时也伤害了自己。 直到有一天我的老师告诉我,其实我已经有了一双强壮的翅膀,我只是看不到,而唯一能够“看到”的方法就是去飞翔。然后我就开始去攀登一座从未去过的高山,我忐忑、害怕、怀疑、挣扎、痛苦也对自己失去了耐心,我真的是从心底怀疑自己是否能飞翔。在山顶上,在大家的爱的支持下,我闭上眼睛纵身跃入了悬崖。过了一会儿,我感觉到微风轻抚脸颊,我感觉到了我在飞,感觉到了我的翅膀。兴奋中我睁开眼睛,看到了前所未见的壮丽景象。这就是我的经历,我现在仍然还活着,而且是更有生命力的活着。

Continue reading My Experience in Living Alive Phase II →

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The Communication Model at Work

Winter working conditions

A mining company in the heart of the Rockies is not the first place you might think of as fertile ground for the Communication Model. For Terri Wolfe, however, bringing Haven learnings into the organization she co-leads is having very positive results.

Terri first came to The Haven in 2000. She is now an intern and a major donor, supporting The Haven’s Financial Aid program. Over the years she has taken what she learned not only into her personal life, but made a commitment to utilize the models in her workplace. Over the last eighteen months, Terri and her brother David have transformed John Wolfe Construction from a traditional, autocratic organization to something more democratic, incorporating the Communication Model in all areas of their work.

As a first step, all supervisory staff were scheduled to attend Come Alive. This experience created “space for something different”, according to Terri. Cathy and Ernie McNally were then invited to teach the Communication Model to the rest of the 30+ employees, who in turn were encouraged to bring family members along to the training.

This is a courageous step and one which is already working well. Terri describes the Communication Model working as providing a ‘container’ for dialogue, creating an environment where her employees experience their needs being met. With greater self-awareness and openness comes increased self-responsibility, and as a result the company is thriving and expanding. Terri incorporates the Communication Model in her own work by “leading with curiosity and questions” and loves being part of the creative process of growing herself and her employees at the same time.

The process is not over, nor is it without its challenges. Things do get missed, but “clear communication is the key,” according to Terri, and problem solving is done collaboratively. Now Terri is working on following up what has already been achieved to ensure greater integration and understanding.

Terri is very confident of continuing success: “I am solid in my learning, which makes it easier to deal with people’s resistance to new ideas, and new ways of doing things,” she says.

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Counter-Intuitive Creativity at The Haven

By Rachel Davey

Explore you creativity at The Haven. Photo by Sam Mak.

I always read the articles coming from The 99 Percent with interest. I was struck reading one recently that lists 8 Counter-Intuitive Ways to Improve your Well-Being and Creativity, because I think The Haven offers 7 out of the 8 ways!

  1. Eat breakfast – no problem at The Haven.
  2. Sit less – who doesn’t love dancing at the beginning of each session?
  3. Exercise in the middle of the day – even if all you do is walk to the lodge for lunch …
  4. Shorten your commute – once you get here, it’s a short commute to breakfast, even from Havenhaus!
  5. Use ALL of those vacation days – at The Haven. And there’s even a ‘day off’ in the Living Alive Phase programs.
  6. Distance yourself from the problem – I think Gabriola qualifies as a ‘faraway place’.
  7. Explore your dark side – I rest my case …

I’m afraid there’s one on the list we can’t offer – an office pet – but we do have a lot of deer!

I look forward to welcoming you to The Haven to improve your well-being and creativity in the very near future.

Here’s the link to the article.

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The Haven Harmonograph Machine


By Peter Joyes. Peter’s Harmonograph in The Haven’s Games Room has entertained and fascinated children and adults for many years.


Origins
I built this double pendulum drawing machine from parts gleaned from the Haven maintenance shop. My wife was involved in a Living Alive Phase program and I was looking after our toddler daughter Linnea. Each day we toured a triangular circuit from the shop to the play area, then to the games room and back to the shop. I would pick up pieces from one area and take them to the next, gradually building the machine. Since seeing such a machine in my high school science fair in 1954, I have been fascinated by harmonograph machines and the amazing, unique 
pictures that anyone can create – without skill or batteries. But there’s more than what you see.

How it works
The Haven Harmonograph machine uses two pendulums. One large one swinging above a smaller one. Its pictures depict the interference pattern caused by the smaller pendulum as it interacts with the larger pendulum. The design of this machine was created and patented in 1964 by its inventor Edward Lias. It is safe and simple to operate. You cannot make two pictures the same. The size, shape, line, color and rotation of your picture can easily be adjusted by children or adults to produce an infinite variety of pictures.



Why?
Though it is set up to draw triangular pictures, the most appealing and interesting pictures are made when the machine is slightly out of tune. As you swing the main pendulum with your hand, you can feel the 1-2-3 rhythm of its swing, but slight (yet adjustable) imperfections will cause the pictures to rotate and change shape as the motion slows down.

It is these imperfections which make people, conversations, ideas, astronomy, the world (and your picture) more interesting.

A smaller force is creating its own unique shape and beauty as it interacts with a larger force. Edward Lias used to suggest that the shape of a rose is a function of its rhythmic movement, that such rhythm patterns are present everywhere in nature, they are heard often in music, and can be detected within the sounds and movements made by babies with their mothers.

Meaning?
It seems as magic to me as I watch the drawings unfold. As soon as I let go (of the pendulum), it is as though the pen knows exactly where it is going to go. As soon as the pen touches the paper, at some level, the whole structure of the machine knows exactly what to do. It has no choice but to trace its own rhythmic movement with the pen line as evidence of its gradual slowing. Similarly, I watch in slow amazement as a cut on my hand slowly heals. It too unfolds in time as I watch. 



Knowing?
At the very moment a thrown ball or pebble leaves your hand, its path is determined by all the forces acting on it. The trajectory unfolds in time as I watch. I wonder… at the moment of starting, does the pendulum “know” what the completed picture will be like? When I was born, at some level, did my body ‘know’ how my face would look as I slowly grow older? That is a mystery to me.

What is this strange force?

Surely, these rhythm patterns tap into the same (yet slower) rhythm and vibration patterns of the stars and planets. The earth traces similar rhythmic patterns in space as it spins on its axis, and as we orbit the sun. Some can see the movement of the sky and the rhythm of the tides in the pictures. Some find the pictures feminine and sensual. Some think them a bit too scientific. For me, I enjoy connecting with you, sharing the wonder and the magic of the Harmonograph machine and the pictures it makes.

Here’s a link to some more details about the harmonograph on my website.

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The Whole Brain Child

Take a look at this wide-ranging interview with Dr Dan Siegel, talking about his new book The Whole Brain Child … and much more.

The second part of the interview is here.

Daniel Siegel is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA School of Medicine. Here he speaks with Studio 4 host Fanny Kiefer about Parenting for the 21st Century. Dr. Siegel provides strategies that promote the growth of neural circuits in children’s brains to support well-being, kindness and resilience.

The Haven offers several programs for kids, teens, and parents: Kids in the Spotlight, Teens Alive, and Personal Parenting.

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To Grow: A Postcard from Gabriola

By Danielle Richey

A group of students enrolled in the Royal Roads University’s MA in Intercultural and International Communication program visited Gabriola earlier this month and stayed at The Haven. They created a number of online Postcards from Gabriola Island. We’re delighted to publish one of them here, and recommend you take a look at the others.

My journey on Gabriola Island physically started at the Haven. The Haven is a center for growth nestled in the northern region of Gabriola Island. The words BREATHE, grow, transform, and connect instantly catch my eye as I nervously look around the gift shop with unfamiliarity. What am I to expect and why are these words planted around the grounds?

At first glance I am unsure how much I could actually soak up on this mini retreat and learn and grow from this experience. I quickly realize that the unfamiliarity of the island lifestyle, knowledge, and tranquility would teach me to take the time to slow down and smell the roses, or in this case the clean fresh air.

Our first group activity is to participate in the path of meditation. I am not a meditator, as my brains constantly run on overload and I could think of a million other things I could do with this time. After the second meditation session, I can connect to the purpose of the exercise.

Our yoga sessions remove us from our busy schedules and demonstrate the importance of a healthy balance between mind and body, which I might not necessarily have. It is important to ME to take time. To play, create, and to connect are essential skills to promote self care and personal growth.

From brief conversations with locals, I understand that to live here is to love your surroundings, to appreciate the silence, to let the moon complement your flashlight in the dark and that power outages are not grounds for panic but welcomed.

I forget to find value in kindness of strangers, magical landscape, and simplicity. This mini retreat has made me remember the importance of personal growth not in the context of monetary growth, but personal reflections on my daily actions, intentions, and karma.

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From the Haven garden: until the heather blooms

By Don Mattson

Heather blooming in the Haven gardenHi, Don the gardener here. Well, another season in the Haven garden has come to an end and I am home catching up on some projects that have been put off for too long. The long cold wet spring turned out to be a blessing for the garden, with perennials, shrubs, and trees flourishing with all the moisture. The guys in maintenance built a beautiful arbour in the garden directly in front of the lodge entrance, I pruned the wisteria hard and am now training it to grow on the arbour. This led to a new sunroof over the breezeway which made for a much lighter and welcoming entrance to the lodge. My thanks to Simon, who built and erected the arbour; he was so considerate of the plantings which he had to work around and within days it looked as though the arbour had always been part of the garden.

I have been using seaweed on the gardens and trees the past few years and the results really showed up this year, especially with some of the trees which have struggled in the poor soil. I have managed to get some fruit on the little old plum trees which never produced before. Also had a great crop of grapes on the arbour that Ron and Jeanette Adkins gave us. Unfortunately the racoons enjoyed most of them before they were sweet enough for us to eat. Joann Peterson’s little garden does well and continues to be a favourite spot for those looking for a little quiet time, and of course it is a favourite of mine where I can have a little private time with my old friend Joann.

The deer population on Gabriola continues to grow at an alarming rate, which makes it more and more difficult to garden without extensive fencing, which is not practical for the Haven property. I have learned to live with the deer and although they really limit what I am able to grow, the garden has its own special beauty. So the garden has been put to bed for another season and I will be back when the heather blooms; of course I am not far as I live on the island and do not totally abandon my babies at Haven over the winter.

Since I have been off work I have taken two wonderful workshops at The Haven. The first was a weekend program with Marlyn Farrell called “Befriending your Inner Critic “. I had a fabulous time and dug deep in the ways I stop myself from creating by listening to my inner critic. Maybe not all of you know, I paint as well as garden; I have painted for many years and have been quite successful, with sold-out shows. However the past few years I haven’t worked very much and would love to get back to it. I feel that through Marlyn’s heartfelt sharing I have a renewed sense of my own place in the world of creativity and am very much looking forward to getting my paints out and starting to play.

I also just finished a program called “Living with Passion”, with David Raithby and Sandey McCartney. WOW, how perfect was the fit and timing of the two programs for me. I felt the “Inner Critic” program was the starting point on the path which lead perfectly into the “Passion” program. If you haven’t taken “Living with Passion”, I highly recommend you do. So I feel like I have placed two more solid bricks in my path to self awareness.

This fall I also managed to squeeze in a program with Jane Geesman and Sarah Lucht called “Act Natural” – what a great time I had! Don, the shy, quiet gardener doing an acting program, getting real big energy on, and having a blast doing it; thank you to Jane and Sarah for seeing me and having the faith that I would see myself. With just the right encouragement, you both were wonderful and I will never forget the experience your program afforded me. Thank you.

So for the next couple of months I will either be snuggled in with my Mark Nepo books or painting furiously with total abandon in my studio …

Hope to see many of you at “Reflections” and if not I will be back in the garden when the heather blooms. Don.

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The Creativity of Anger

We found two very interesting articles on the creativity of anger. If you’re interested in the subject, check out Anger, Boundaries and Safety, a program created and taught for many years by the late Joann Peterson and now taught by Greg Gurel. Greg has recently added a follow-up program, Anger, Boundaries and Safety 2. There’s also Joann’s book of the same name, available from the Haven store.

Anger Gives You a Creative Boost from Scientific American.

The Creativity of Anger from Wired’s Frontal Cortex blog.

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